:: BIG Announcement, LONG Story ::

The news is out - Josh and I are having a baby!!

This past week has been such fun, finally making my announcement at work, then posting our news on Facebook. I was (am!) so blessed and encouraged by everyone's support and excitement for us. What a beautiful feeling to know this babe of ours is already so loved and celebrated!!

I've been asked to tell the story of how Josh and I found out. I've been thinking over this and about where to start in our journey to where we are now - 11 weeks pregnant and thrilled to bits! That makes us due around March 20, 2010 :)

So I thought I'd start at the beginning... so yes, this could get a little long ;)

It was back in September, when my dear hubby started making little comments here and there about how nice it would be to have a baby, and how he couldn't wait to be a Daddy. Words to melt a woman's heart! So we decided to go for it, to begin trying for a baby. Well, we certainly didn't expect to conceive as soon as we did but about a month later we got a positive pregnancy test!! We were SO happy, and feeling blessed that it happened so easily and quickly. Little did we know that 2 1/2 weeks later our world would come crashing down, and we would lose our first little one. Without getting into too many details, it was the absolute darkest time in my life, a time when sorrow and heartbreak went deeper than I thought possible. There were times I didn't know how I'd make it through, or if I even wanted to. I just don't know how I would've gotten through each day if it wasn't for my Heavenly Father. Only through Him could I feel any peace, and have the wonderful assurance that our baby, whom we already loved so dearly, was safe and well in Heaven, where we will joyfully meet him or her one day. Oh, I can barely wait!!

The next while was a time of healing and deep growth, as I leaned heavily in my Father, my wonderful, supportive husband, and our family and friends. It's times like that when you really know how God has blessed you with the people in your life.

And the desire remained - the deep, constant desire for a baby. I thought I was ready right away, and hoped to conceive quickly. Well, God had other plans for us. I didn't start cycling very quickly, or very regularly. It was a time of such frustration for me! And definitely a time of growth for our marriage. It's certainly through the tough times that you grow the most, hey? Looking back, through our miscarriage and time after, one of the things I am most thankful for was that Josh and my marriage grew deeper and stronger than it ever could have, without the tough times.

I'll short-step through the next few months... to sum it up there were doctor's appointments, frustrations and tears. And you think creating a baby is joyful and fun, right?!?! That's what I thought, too! I tried to focus on that, and trust in God's plan and timing for our life and family. Never had I had to trust like that! And while I can't say it was easy or that I'd chose to go through that again, I am thankful for how God softened my heart and deepened my trust in Him.

I finally arrived at a Naturopath, to check out that option for getting my cycle back on track. He was such a blessing, so encouraging and positive! One week later, my cycle started (after 54 days and MANY pregnancy tests) - praise God! We had a good feeling about that month.

Josh and I went away for a weekend in June, and although I was only about 25 days past my last period, I thought it would be a great memory to get a positive pregnancy test while away. I was having some symptoms and had my hopes high - you'd think I'd have learned from the past few months to not get my hopes up! So I took a test... which revealed an EXTREMELY faint line. Faint as in, you had to hold it in the right light to see anything. Well, for this girl who had seen her fair share of negative pregnancy tests, I knew this one was different. But also not clear enough to get TOO excited over.

So for the next few days I obsessively took pregnancy tests, comparing them with the one before, and asking my hubby if he saw a second line. I am thankful to my dear friend, SL, who told me about the $1 pregnancy tests at the dollar store! :) On Thursday, July 9th, I took the final home pregnancy test, one that cost more than $1, thinking it should be accurate now. And... 2 LINES!!! Josh and I were quiet as the realization sunk in - we had finally conceived and were going to have a baby.

I had prayed and prayed against any fear of miscarriage stealing my joy of when we conceived next. God is so faithful!! Right from the start, He has filled both Josh and I with His perfect peace. And when those times of fear do creep in, I am armed with the Word and the Truth, and am safe in the shadow of His wings. Psalm 91 became such a source of comfort for me.
That weekend was such fun, as we got to announce our exciting news to family and friends. Many who had been praying for us and had walked through tough months with us - we are so thankful for them! And it was wonderful to get to celebrate together!

So we've known our "news" for almost 8 weeks now! 8 weeks full of dreaming and excited whispers. Learning about car seats and strollers, and talking about names... looking at baby bedding and tiny clothes. But above all, trusting our Heavenly Father, and praising Him for His perfect timing and will for our life. And earnestly asking for Him to mold us into the parents He wants us to be, the best for our little one. We depend on Him alone for our child, that he/she is healthy and thriving. I'm doing all I can, but I know our days are in His hand alone.

We did have one scare, on a Saturday morning when I was only 6 weeks along. I had a little spotting when I woke up. My immediate reaction was to pray... desperate, whole-hearted prayers. My emotions were flooded with nightmares of the past and I couldn't bear the thought of living through another miscarriage. My sister and brother-in-law came over and prayed with Josh and I. Through many tears and heartfelt words, such a peace flowed in our hearts. My BIL had a vision of God placing His mighty hands around our baby, in my womb, protecting him/her. How beautiful!! And how precious that picture was for me all weekend, as I laid on the couch or in bed, in an attempt to do all I could. And the picture and peace was with me when we went to the doctor's, ready to hear the news... which was that all was well!! Praise God!! We left the doctor's office flooded with peace and thankfulness. And boy, what an incredible way to solidify your love and desire for a baby!! We know God has a plan for our child, and has him/her in His hands. And again, how incredible it was to have our "village" of family and friends pray and be there for us.

We've had the incredible experience of having an early ultrasound, at just over 8 weeks. How precious and reassuring to see that tiny, quick heartbeat!

Each day, each week, feels like a milestone, a reason to celebrate! As we approach the highly recognized 12 week mark I am filled with thanksgiving and anticipation. I know you're never "out of the woods" during a pregnancy and I truly cannot wait to hear the cry of our precious baby and know everything is okay. Until then, my hope and trust remains in the Lord, and I am thankful.