:: Denial ::

So, I'm in denial. Right now it's mostly about moving! I'm a little sad about leaving Josh and my first "home" and also about all the work it'll take to do so! Our new house won't be ready in time, so we're moving in with my parents for awhile. We are very grateful for them opening their home to us, and their generosity. And there's also the unknowns and adjustments that will have to happen. But it also means more work, as we sort through what we'll absolutely NEED there and what can go into storage. But it'll happen soon... because it has to! We need to be out of our condo by October 9th at noon. Which is a Friday, so I'll have to have my part done by Thursday evening, and the place cleaned. But there's a bright light at the end of the tunnel... we'll have our first house soon, and it's brand new!! I can't WAIT to live there :) And after living with my parents, we'll only appreciate it that much more ;)

If we were only moving, that wouldn't be so bad. But I am also a bridesmaid in a wedding coming up on October 17th! So there are dress fittings, showers, hair trials, the stagette, rehearsal, etc. And I could write a whole post about my dress but I'll just say that it's already too tight and there's still 3 1/2 weeks 'til the wedding! At this stage of pregnancy (15-18 weeks) that's a little nerve wracking. I'm praying the seamstress can work a miracle and that on the wedding day, the dress fits. But it weighs on my mind.

And have I mentioned that I'm trying to grow a little human here? ;) So my energy level isn't fantastic and I'm finding that things are quite as easy to deal with as they usually are. Hormones... who knew.

So yup, denial it is. And I just live by my Day Planner, doing life day by day. Making sure I don't miss doctor's appointments, birthdays, anniversaries, hair appointments, house stuff, wedding stuff, family events, Thanksgiving... you know, the usual! :)

:: Heartbeat ::

I heard the most incredible sound on Tuesday - the sound of our tiny baby's heartbeat. I've heard that it's one of the best parts of pregnancy, and I'm not left disappointed! So incredible to hear that tiny sound coming from within my own body. I marvel at God's plan to create life and His faithfulness. I think on that, tears swell in my eyes, I am in such awe and am incredibly thankful. Oh, how I love this little one!!

Josh was with me at the doctor's and I loved seeing his face as he listened to his baby for the first time. The look was so tender and filled with amazement. I know his love runs deep for me and this life within me, and I trust him with us both, completely. I simply cannot wait to watch him journey in his role as a Daddy, I know it's such a desire of his and I have no doubt he will be incredible.

My doctor shared that once you pass 12 weeks and hear the heartbeat, the chance of miscarriage are tiny. I know there are no guarantees, but that was sure music to this mama-to-be's ears! Our peace about this pregnancy has been so present, and I am thankful for that. Oh, and my due date is now set for March 18th! It's changed 3 times now, so I just think that it'll hopefully happen that week sometime :)

Thank you Jesus!! You are so good.

:: Approved! ::

Josh and I have been approved for our new mortgage!! What an answer to prayer this is!

That leads me to answering another question... yes, we've sold our condo! My Dad has become a realtor recently so we hired him for his first listing! He did an extraordinary job - we had 8 showings in 10 days, and were listed $20,000 higher than with our previous realtor with whom we didn't have any showings! Well, that 8th showing proved to be the winner and we settled on a deal in one day. The thing the new owners were most stuck on was the dates... so we have to be out by Oct. 9 at noon! Yup, less than one month from now.

We found a place that we fell in love with, and really felt that it met our needs right now and for the next few years to come. I can't wait to start our little family there! It's a coach home across from a future pond and park, and we will have a two bedroom basement suite, plus a one bedroom coach suite above the detached garage to rent out! The extra income will make this move affordable to us and (hopefully!) allow for a smooth transition when I go on mat leave in a few months (which, I might add, I am SO EXCITED about!!) This particular home was slightly higher in price than we hoped, but the reasons why were reason enough for us to try for it.

And as of yesterday, we're officially approved! God is faithful and knows the desires of our hearts.

So, will the house be ready for us by October 9th? Absolutely not!! :) The house is being build right now, and it's great fun getting to chose accent colours and such, and I look forward to seeing it all come together. But this also means that Josh and I are moving in with my parents for awhile! Could be interesting times ahead :) We are very grateful to them and for all the help they've given to us to make this move happen.

Please pray for us as we pack up our place and chose what to bring with us to my parents and what to put into storage. At times it seems a little overwhelming, all the changes to come in the next few months, so please pray for God's peace as my most important role right now is to stay healthy as this little one grows inside me! Please also pray that we find the perfect tenants for our rental suites. And, on that note, I would LOVE any referrals! If you know of someone wanting to rent, please let me know and I can get you more details. Thanks!

I look forward to this exciting journey with my incredible husband and baby on the way. Life is an adventure, that's for sure!

:: Prayer - Thursday 12:30 pm - Join in! ::

My friend Crystal has called us women of God to join together in prayer. For our families, loved ones, community, etc. To read her post, click here.

God has called us to do even MORE powerful things on earth than what Jesus did when He was here... that thought is incredible.

Let's get started!!

:: Thank Goodness for Grandmas! ::

I can't help myself... I now love looking at baby clothes! It's so fun, searching for the perfect little thing for our Baby come Spring. And since we're not finding out the gender, this takes a little more effort!
Josh and I wandered into MEXX the other day, and I fell in love with this - the sweetest little sweater sleep-sack. And it's pure white... so precious and perfect for a boy or a girl! I thought is was the perfect going-home outfit. However, the price wasn't so perfect and I had to put it back.
I told my Mom about it and she wanted to see it! So we met at MEXX the other day and showed her... and now Baby will get it for his/her first Christmas present! I guess it's a pre-first Christmas... ?? :) Either way, I am so thankful for generous Grandmas and am so excited to see our Baby in this sweet little outfit!

:: BIG Announcement, LONG Story ::

The news is out - Josh and I are having a baby!!

This past week has been such fun, finally making my announcement at work, then posting our news on Facebook. I was (am!) so blessed and encouraged by everyone's support and excitement for us. What a beautiful feeling to know this babe of ours is already so loved and celebrated!!

I've been asked to tell the story of how Josh and I found out. I've been thinking over this and about where to start in our journey to where we are now - 11 weeks pregnant and thrilled to bits! That makes us due around March 20, 2010 :)

So I thought I'd start at the beginning... so yes, this could get a little long ;)

It was back in September, when my dear hubby started making little comments here and there about how nice it would be to have a baby, and how he couldn't wait to be a Daddy. Words to melt a woman's heart! So we decided to go for it, to begin trying for a baby. Well, we certainly didn't expect to conceive as soon as we did but about a month later we got a positive pregnancy test!! We were SO happy, and feeling blessed that it happened so easily and quickly. Little did we know that 2 1/2 weeks later our world would come crashing down, and we would lose our first little one. Without getting into too many details, it was the absolute darkest time in my life, a time when sorrow and heartbreak went deeper than I thought possible. There were times I didn't know how I'd make it through, or if I even wanted to. I just don't know how I would've gotten through each day if it wasn't for my Heavenly Father. Only through Him could I feel any peace, and have the wonderful assurance that our baby, whom we already loved so dearly, was safe and well in Heaven, where we will joyfully meet him or her one day. Oh, I can barely wait!!

The next while was a time of healing and deep growth, as I leaned heavily in my Father, my wonderful, supportive husband, and our family and friends. It's times like that when you really know how God has blessed you with the people in your life.

And the desire remained - the deep, constant desire for a baby. I thought I was ready right away, and hoped to conceive quickly. Well, God had other plans for us. I didn't start cycling very quickly, or very regularly. It was a time of such frustration for me! And definitely a time of growth for our marriage. It's certainly through the tough times that you grow the most, hey? Looking back, through our miscarriage and time after, one of the things I am most thankful for was that Josh and my marriage grew deeper and stronger than it ever could have, without the tough times.

I'll short-step through the next few months... to sum it up there were doctor's appointments, frustrations and tears. And you think creating a baby is joyful and fun, right?!?! That's what I thought, too! I tried to focus on that, and trust in God's plan and timing for our life and family. Never had I had to trust like that! And while I can't say it was easy or that I'd chose to go through that again, I am thankful for how God softened my heart and deepened my trust in Him.

I finally arrived at a Naturopath, to check out that option for getting my cycle back on track. He was such a blessing, so encouraging and positive! One week later, my cycle started (after 54 days and MANY pregnancy tests) - praise God! We had a good feeling about that month.

Josh and I went away for a weekend in June, and although I was only about 25 days past my last period, I thought it would be a great memory to get a positive pregnancy test while away. I was having some symptoms and had my hopes high - you'd think I'd have learned from the past few months to not get my hopes up! So I took a test... which revealed an EXTREMELY faint line. Faint as in, you had to hold it in the right light to see anything. Well, for this girl who had seen her fair share of negative pregnancy tests, I knew this one was different. But also not clear enough to get TOO excited over.

So for the next few days I obsessively took pregnancy tests, comparing them with the one before, and asking my hubby if he saw a second line. I am thankful to my dear friend, SL, who told me about the $1 pregnancy tests at the dollar store! :) On Thursday, July 9th, I took the final home pregnancy test, one that cost more than $1, thinking it should be accurate now. And... 2 LINES!!! Josh and I were quiet as the realization sunk in - we had finally conceived and were going to have a baby.

I had prayed and prayed against any fear of miscarriage stealing my joy of when we conceived next. God is so faithful!! Right from the start, He has filled both Josh and I with His perfect peace. And when those times of fear do creep in, I am armed with the Word and the Truth, and am safe in the shadow of His wings. Psalm 91 became such a source of comfort for me.
That weekend was such fun, as we got to announce our exciting news to family and friends. Many who had been praying for us and had walked through tough months with us - we are so thankful for them! And it was wonderful to get to celebrate together!

So we've known our "news" for almost 8 weeks now! 8 weeks full of dreaming and excited whispers. Learning about car seats and strollers, and talking about names... looking at baby bedding and tiny clothes. But above all, trusting our Heavenly Father, and praising Him for His perfect timing and will for our life. And earnestly asking for Him to mold us into the parents He wants us to be, the best for our little one. We depend on Him alone for our child, that he/she is healthy and thriving. I'm doing all I can, but I know our days are in His hand alone.

We did have one scare, on a Saturday morning when I was only 6 weeks along. I had a little spotting when I woke up. My immediate reaction was to pray... desperate, whole-hearted prayers. My emotions were flooded with nightmares of the past and I couldn't bear the thought of living through another miscarriage. My sister and brother-in-law came over and prayed with Josh and I. Through many tears and heartfelt words, such a peace flowed in our hearts. My BIL had a vision of God placing His mighty hands around our baby, in my womb, protecting him/her. How beautiful!! And how precious that picture was for me all weekend, as I laid on the couch or in bed, in an attempt to do all I could. And the picture and peace was with me when we went to the doctor's, ready to hear the news... which was that all was well!! Praise God!! We left the doctor's office flooded with peace and thankfulness. And boy, what an incredible way to solidify your love and desire for a baby!! We know God has a plan for our child, and has him/her in His hands. And again, how incredible it was to have our "village" of family and friends pray and be there for us.

We've had the incredible experience of having an early ultrasound, at just over 8 weeks. How precious and reassuring to see that tiny, quick heartbeat!

Each day, each week, feels like a milestone, a reason to celebrate! As we approach the highly recognized 12 week mark I am filled with thanksgiving and anticipation. I know you're never "out of the woods" during a pregnancy and I truly cannot wait to hear the cry of our precious baby and know everything is okay. Until then, my hope and trust remains in the Lord, and I am thankful.

:: Survey ::

I know I haven't posted anything for quite awhile... so when I saw this on Sharon's Facebook, then Meghan's blog, I thought I could steal the idea too!! So, here goes:

1 What's the last thing you put in your mouth? Milk (skim, of course!)

2 Have you ever kissed anyone named Matthew? Ummm, that would be a yes.

3 Where was your default picture taken? At the Cabin on Lake Whatcom

4 Who was the last person you rode in a car with under the age of 20? My nephew Colton (23 months old) on Friday evening - we went on a date to McDonald's then Ft. Langley for gelato!

5 Can you play guitar hero? I've never tried!

6 Last time you walked further than a block? Probably the last time I shopped. That's bad, isn't it? Oh wait, when I was in Seattle on Monday! Where we parked, we had to walk a ways to the restaurant. Does that count? :)

7 Name someone that made you laugh today? Josh. He was in a silly mood at lunch and we laughed together a bunch :)

8 How late did you stay up last night and why? About 10:00, my new bedtime! I was just at home last night, having a relaxing, low-key evening. Lovely.

9 If you could move somewhere else, would you? No thanks! I LOVE the city I live in and it's definitely 'home.'

10 Ever been kissed under fireworks? Yup. I like Fireworks

11 Do you believe ex's can be friends? I used to think so... but now that I'm a 'wise' married woman ;) I would say no.

12 Do you like calling or texting better? Depends what it's for. I do like the convenience of texting if I'm not in the mood to talk or just need to tell/ask an easy something. But I do enjoy talking on the phone too, to catch up with friends. It's about the only way I get housework done too, when I'm on the phone! :)

13 How do you feel about Diet Dr Pepper? I'm really not into diet pop... and, I hear it's worse for you than the regular stuff! I think aspartame leaves a funny aftertaste. I do like Dr. Pepper though :)

14 When was the last time you cried really hard? On Saturday, July 25. Scary day (more on that later)

15 Where is your biological father right now? He's at a course for Real Estate. He just got his license and is going through a bunch of courses.

16 Where are you right now? At my computer

17 What bed did you sleep in last night? Mine... love it!

18 What was the last thing someone bought for you? Ummmm... my mom treated my friend Nadia and I to lunch on Monday. And Josh bought groceries yesterday, including a few special things he knows I like!

19 Who took your profile picture? Set the timer on my camera and put it on the table! So... no one!

20 Who was the last person you took a picture of? My nephews, Ethan, Brandon and Corban out in their Papa's boat

21 Was yesterday better than today? About the same so far.

22 Can you live a day without TV? Sure! But if a fav show is on, I'll PVR it :)

23 Are you a bad influence? Nope, wouldn't say so

24 What items could you not go without during the day? Food, something to drink

25 Would you share a drink with a stranger? Seriously? That's really gross. No, of course not.

26 Who was the last person you visited in the hospital? Crystal, when she had Addyson! :) And Dave too, of course. I like happy hospital visits.

27 What does the last text message in your inbox say? "Awww... I would love to, but I have to work." From Katie, when I asked if her and Steve wanted to hang out tonight. (See, much easier than a phone call ;) )

28 What are you wearing? Sandals, jeans, tank top, shirt, sweater, earrings, necklace, watch, wedding ring and under-garments :)

29 How many times have you been pulled over by the police? Is it bad that I don't know the answer to this? Shoot. Okay... I think about 4 or 5?

30 If we were to look in your inbox, what would we find? ummm, emails? Weird question

31 Has anyone ever called you perfect before? Perhaps... silly

32 What song is stuck in your head? I watched a bit of "A Walk to Remember" at lunch time... so that song that Mandy Moore sings in the play ... "so I lay my head back down... and I lift my hands and pray..."

33 Someone knocks on your window at 2 am, who do you want it to be? Since we live on the third floor, this would be shocking. I'd only 'want' to be woken up for some type of emergency. I like my sleep :)

34 What gets in your way of your sleeping? Not much! Occasionally I have too much mind traffic but usually I'm out easily and soundly

35 Who was your last missed call on your cell phone? My Mom. I think she called me by accident, as she's at Green Lake. Probably checking her reception

36 Can you handle the truth? Yes - please just tell me the truth! I can take it :)

37 What was the last book you read? Reading "Marly and Me" right now. Just finished "Take Two" by Karen Kingsbury. She's my favourite author and I drop what I'm reading when she puts out a new book.

38 Is there something you always wear? Wedding Ring

39 Have you ever crawled through a window? Yes.

40 What is something that can always make you feel better? A hug from Josh.

41 What do you want right now? To get off work early? :) Oh, but beyond right now... I would want Josh and I to have more similar work schedules so we can see each other more often and get to go away, and have weekends together. That would be such a treat!

42 Look behind you, what do you see? Not much. A wall that is boring because I still haven't decorated it.

43 Have you ever worked in a food place? Only Red Robin. And twice, for only a couple months each time.